5 years

Looking back this has to have been an interesting year and sometimes I don’t know how we ever made it through alive. This was the year we took an early anniversary trip. We took a nice little cruise to Ensenada Mexico. We left from long beach California, to Catalina Island, to Ensenada back to long beach.

We have a killer deal and we were so very excited about going. We are not that good at planning and thought perfect a vacation that really plans itself. They feed you; they take you to places you just have to get off the boat. They have shows you can go to each night and they make the bed every morning. Well after I bought the tickets and looked at all the paperwork I have reserved a room with bunk beds—huhhhhh--and had I got the right rooms it would have only cost us $40 dollars more. But because I hade to call and change my room it cost us $300. Now it was not so great a deal. We were really excited to go anyway. This would be Marshalls second time flying, the first was to and from his mission in Chile. I let him sit next to the window. We landed in California and headed t the ship. We were amazed at how large it was and wow what an experience.

We got settled in our room –that had a normal sized bed- and went for a walk about the ship. We found the salt water pool, the dinning room, the buffet with all you can eat everything, the life boats, and the track. We never did find the adults only hot tub area that might have been nice.

After being on the ship 1 night I came to the conclusion that I am REALLY Sea Sick. I did not do very well. We loved all the stops. Loved watching the ocean and the waves, Loved the experience but I was so sick I hated the Cruise. I don’t think that we will ever go on a cruise again. So sad it was our perfect vacation planner.

This was also the year that Marshall worked full time swing shift and grave yard while taking 12-15 credit hours at school. Like I have said before we were just trying to get through his degree and be done. It was difficult being a wife and mother and working. Having Marshall unavailable all the time made it even worse. We both learned very valuable things about each other during that time. We learned how to best utilize our time together. We both had to work at it, because it is not an easy thing to do. There were times that I would not see Marshall from Sunday night until Thursday afternoon. But I am grateful for all that we learned how to better communicate. Also that its over and we wont have to live like that ever again.

Marshall also graduated in December. We were glad to finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am proud of him because I know it was not easy. Now with only 1 night a week of class we can handle that.

I also went to weight watcher at the beginning of our year. I wanted to learn how to eat healthier and live healthier. I wanted better food options that made me feel good. I have been successful for 1 year so far and plan on continuing my healthy plan to help our family eat better.

This was the year that we found out that having more children would be detrimental to my life.

We had talked about having more children but I had put it off because I wasn’t ready. Looking back I know that God had played a large part in my feelings of hesitancy. When I finally decided that I was ready it was December. I have a regular appointment with my cardiologist every 6 months to check my pacemaker. After I had Libby I had a hard time bouncing back. I didn’t feel well the first time I was pregnant and I was worried that if I got pregnant again I would have the same issues. When I went in the doctor sat down and we talked about the medication I had been recently prescribed to see how I liked it. I asked about how it would affect me during pregnancy and he looked at me and said “you can’t take this is you get pregnant, I also highly recommend that you don’t get pregnant again. We are doing all we can do to make your life function right now if you get pregnant I don’t think you will be able to function”. What a blow. I knew that I was functioning better now but I knew how bad it could be pregnant. But to hear it put that I probably couldn’t take care of the 1 child I had and not be able to care for a second child when I was done it put me to pieces. Here I was Alone, and being told that I should not have any more children, it was devastating. I held my chin up asked a few more questions and got my answers, I thanked him and left. I got in my car and drove home. I didn’t know what to do I cried and cried. When I got home Marshall was waiting with our daughter, I walked in and lost it. We sat on the floor feeling lost and helpless with tears in our eyes for our unobtainable dreams.

After many prayers, long nights, and meeting with several other specialist. We can to the decision that My life was valuable, I had a daughter that needed me, a husband that needed me, and my little family needed me. I wanted to be around and functioning to my complete ability until forever. So we decided that adoption was the path our family would take. We have been criticized by some, helped and aided by others. We are grateful for the support our families give us in looking for our addition. We pray each day that someone will bless our life with the gift they have. I look forward to the moment to look into the face of the most selfless person on earth and thank them from the bottom of my heart, and Hope that they know mother to mother how thankful I am for them.

Our life has been a roller-coaster. We have had our ups and downs just like everyone else. We know that the Lord has his hand in all things. We are grateful for the still small voice that whispers in our ears and hearts. Because I know that I hear it often and am grateful that I can recognize it. I pray that all can feel the power that comes from the comforter. I have felt the peace that I need in those times that I feel helpless and pray that God will heal all our wounds.

Year Four

I am finding that my memory isn’t all that I thought it was. Life seems to be all meshed together and I can remember what happened last year to what happened this year. So do the best I can I am going to piece together what I remember.


We had a child that we were excited about and we had talked about having more children. I put it off that year because I just wasn’t ready to be a mom of two. I am glad that I did. I loved spending time with my daughter Libby. I tried to do all the things a good mom should. But like any mom I know I could have done more. I was tired and exhausted that year and we were trying to figure it our working with my family doctor to see what vitamin concoction would give me more energy. I started blogging towards the beginning of our 4th year, but all my posts are about our daughter, because who wants to know about me. I am learning that life needs to be remembered even if I make my blogs more of a journal than anything.

That year I took a photography class though the school district, "community classes". I was so excited to be able to take time for myself; I did not do much after I had a baby. Life got hard and busy, something I wasn’t expecting. I loved the class I learned how to take photos. The teacher said "what makes a photographer is how many more pictures are taken and thrown away".  I had to laugh at that because it’s true I delete the horrible pictures and keep the "ok" ones but photographers just take a whole lot more and has a much bigger trash pile.

I think Libby is cute, But moms are prejudice. Everyone told me she was a doll so… I thought I would put her in a baby contest for fiesta days. I found a little flower girl dress and dressed her up as the "little miss" pageant winner. She refused to smile or interact with the judges so I did not think she would win. To my surprise, She Won first prize in her age group. She got a medal and her picture in the paper.  I was a proud mom!

That year Marshall talked me into getting him a motorcycle (against by better judgment). He found a cheap one that he could use as a commuter since his truck was a gas hog. He had a helmet, gloves, jacket, and all that he needed to ride.  He loved that bike but it was unpredictable. We had it in the shop more often the on the road.  By the next year we sold it. It was a short lived experience.

I worked after I had Libby. It was really hard to leave her but Marshall was home the days I had to work "in office". It was really nice that they had time together. I know now it is really important to Libby to see Marshall.  Now even if it is only 30-60 min a day, but time for a walk together or reading a book means the world to her and I can always use the break.

Marshall also was going to school during this point in our marriage. He was also working full time.  After laking with him today we realized that we did not have much of a life at this point it was; work, school, sleep and repeat.  So we decided that if we went straight through the summers we would be able to be done early and be able to start and maybe finish his master’s degree before he turned 30.  We also wanted to have a life together again, so not seeing each other, and working and sleeping random hours was something we were willing to live with for 2 years. So we started on a long proceed and looking back it was a rough 2 years but in the end I am glad we did it. We had a goal and worked hard to obtain it.

Marshall and I have always tried to set goals.  School was one that was really important to us.  I know Marshall wants to be able to provide the best life for our family.  I am very grateful that he was willing to sacrifice his needs to fill Libby and my needs during those two years.  I know that there were days with little to no sleep.  working long hours and then studying and school.  but he always found sometime to make Libby and my day.  I am glad that he has the determination to succeed and work hard.  I truly love him for that.

Our third year.

Marshall and I had an eventful third year. We bought a house. We were so excited it is the perfect little starter home. Marshall’s employer added on to the building and he moved to day shift. I was so excited. We lost money because of the shift differential, but I had been offered a position with a different company and my employer matched what I would be making to keep me, so the Lord blessed us monetarily to be able to make ends meet. My brother and his wife had their first baby Izaiah.

Before Marshall and I got married he informed me that he would be playing in several various sporting groups. He played basketball 2 nights a week he played football on Saturday morning and in the fall he played in a flag football league. Well I really was glad he had something to keep him active. Marshall and all his friends’ flag football team won the Green and White tournament a Payson single elimination tournament. They also have played for 6 years in just city league football and have won 5 of those championships. It is fun to see a bunch of 26-35 year olds still think they are 19- 22. It makes me glad that he is and always will be active. I know that it is important to him and I hope to have that attitude rub off on our children.

In January of 2008 I found out I was pregnant. That was a surprise for me. I did not think it was ever going to be a possibility and was shocked literally. This is how we spent our 3rd anniversary, we went and had an ultra sound Marshall thought for sure we were having a boy…we had a girl. He asked the Dr. As you sure and he said “I have been doing this for 30 years and have never been wrong”. So, shocked we left the office to have breakfast with friends, and then off to spend the day shopping and I don’t remember what else. We had invited our parents to dinner at a great restaurant the art city trolley and said surprise it’s a girl. Both our parents were very excited.  (sorry I have 0 pictures of me prego,  I did not want any memories of how big I was)

Life changed after we got pregnant. I was really sick and it was a really rough pregnancy. I was excited to be able to be a mom. I was however worried about how my body would handle the pregnancy. Looking back, I know that the Lord blesses us in lots of different areas in our life. This was one area that I know I needed his help in the most. I was scared and nervous. I wanted to be a mom, but I did not want to be pregnant. I still have those same feelings but now I can better understand them. Libby was meant for our family. She had been a blessing and a great adventure. I am glad that we had her and even more grateful that Marshall has been by my side to share the joy, the sadness, the heartache, and the smiles. I am grateful that we are an eternal family; I could never imagine not being able to have my family forever. I guess my life from that point I has been one big leap of faith, or maybe a million baby steps of faith. Because each day I learn and grow.


I look at this picture and I always get choked up.  Knowing
how much Love we have for our daughter. 
Only makes our choices as parents that much
harder and often time so important.



Year two

Trying to remember one year from the next is getting to be pretty hard. I am so glad that I started blogging for my Libby’s sake. I know that I am not a good journalist but this really helps me, making sure that I remember the important things and the little things.

Our second year of marriage had me working at the car dealership all by myself. Marshall had left and found a wonderful job with the company he is currently with. The only problem is that he worked the graveyard shift. He also went back to school. That was really rough I never saw him. I was so used to seeing him the entire work day and then when we were at home, this schedule was a difficult one for me. I also knew that we wanted to have Marshall finish school, and he had to go back at some point. So we made the sacrifice of time and he went back taking several general classes to finish up his degree.

My brother Joe Was married in July to his wonderful wife Lindsay. She is a good women and puts up with all his joking and they make a wonderful couple. My brother lance left for his mission 2 days after the wedding. We all will forever laugh at the story of how when we showed up to the airport we jokingly said look there is your plane leaving now we missed it. But when we got to the check in point we had missed it (unknowingly of course) and it probably was his plane.

That year we had a plan to try to get out of debt. We paid off our 4 wheeler. YEAH! We successfully sold Marshall’s Toyota truck and bought with cash his 1998 GMC Sierra. We were so excited because this meant we could pull our own trailer and 4 wheeler camping. We loved the space of the truck and all the bells and whistles. But by the end of the summer we had sold our little orange camp trailer for a bigger better one and it cost us 500$ but it had a shower. Ohhh can I tell you how wonderful a shower is after a long day of riding in the dust and being able to be clean. It was a very smart purchase.

We had some fun callings when we were newly-weds. Marshall was called into the young-mens with his best friend from upstairs. They had a ton of fun. Marshall taught the teachers. I remember that they went on a week long camp out and had a blast. I was called to the primary as the music chorister. It was one of my favorite calling that I have held. I enjoy singing and being able to see how music can touch the souls of the children. I held that calling until we moved out of the ward.

For our second Anniversary we decided to take a trip to Las Vegas. Let me tell you a bit about our trip goings. When we went to Canada we thought we had great map following directions… we didn’t. We thought we could follow signs to get us to where we need to go. The signage was horrible and we were lost for 2 hours trying to find the right road to get us to where we needed to be. So now on to our story about Vegas.

We had this wonderful plan to go to Vegas and walk the strip and see all the cool stuff in the casinos. We bought tickets to the Excalibur tournament of king’s show. This was what I was excited about. I had seen it as an 11 year old and Marshall had never seen it. So we were really excited for our trip. I had bought everything online, our hotel, show tickets and looked at all the sights to see… but I failed to make an itinerary, so we would know where we were going and when. I also didn’t get a map. SO we head down to mesquite, Nevada (that was where I got our hotel). We get to St George and I realized I didn’t remember for sure what our hotel was called (I think it was the oasis). I tell Marshall I will know it when I see it (I hoped). I also don’t know how to get us to the unknown hotel. Bad start to our wonderful weekend. When we finally pull into the hotel at midnight (I remember it was so late because the jazz were in the playoffs that year and it was the overtime game where fisher came in at the end of the game and made the really awesome shot that will never be forgotten at least not at our house). Well we got up the next day and headed to Las Vegas. Once we finally found the strip we started by the Excalibur since we were going to end our day there with the show. We went to the shark’s reef at Mandalay bay, the Luxor, the New York-New York, the coca-cola store and Marshall had a coke. I think the farthest we made it to was the New York- New York. The M&M store was closed or we couldn’t find it I know we wanted to see it but our luck was not so good.



scene from the show it was
really cool!



We headed back down the strip to the show we were going to see. We went and picked up our tickets and went down to wait in line. Well some how in the 20 min before the show started we misplaced out tickets. Neither Marshall nor I remember who had the tickets last because both of us had them at one point in that time. But he was upset I was upset but the nice customer service person remembered us and gave us new tickets and somehow found the ones we miss placed too. Not our finest moment, but it sure makes for a great story.

We loved the show and Marshall thought it was much better than he thought it was going to be. The food was great and we got a virgin pina colada and started our mug collection.

The next day we thought it would be nice to go to the temple. So we got dressed in our Sunday best and headed back into town…without directions. We got lost, could not get our bearings, and when we stopped to get directions from a fast food joint they would not let us use their phone book and no one had any idea on how to get us to the Temple. So after 3 hours of searching we gave up and headed home. We at least knew how to get there.

We really enjoyed a lot of laughing and good times. We don’t know when we will go back but next time I will have a map and know what and where we want to go and hopefully not get lost in the process.

I love being able to remember the stories you sometimes forget. Memories are what your family is made up of. Anything you can do together no matter how small brings your family closer together.